Late last week I sold my soul to the devil and opened a MySpace account. My stomach still lurches a bit just saying it. Why, you ask, did I do something I have been strictly morally opposed to for the last few years? This year is my 10 year high school reunion, and since it looks like we won't actually be having a reunion, I thought it might be fun to try to catch up with at least some of the people from high school and see what they're up to. These days, MySpace seems to be the easiest way to do that.

I also had an ulterior motive. I don't necessarily look back too fondly on my high school years. They were filled with quite a bit of drama, and some really not nice people. I went to a private, Christian school and graduated in a class of 13, so if you didn't get along with one of your classmates, it was pretty hard to avoid them. If you'd like to understand more what my school was like, watch "Saved!". It pretty much sums it up.

In reality, a lot of the fear and trembling I experience when I think about getting around all of those people again has to do with post-high school experiences I had with 3 of my former classmates. The experiences? They were not good, to put it lightly. But I was hoping that, since it's been 5 or 6 years since I last saw them, it would all just be water under the bridge and that maybe we had all grown up a little and moved on. I guess I was wrong. It's ok really. I didn't have really high expectations. But I did hope that maybe things could be different...that maybe if things could be better between us now my memories of the past could be a little more positive. OK, maybe I did have high expectations :)

I think this is a sign that it really is time for me to let go of the past. I have no ties to my hometown anymore. My parents moved away last year, and there is nothing there to go back to. I'm actually thankful for that, because every trip back brought waves of memories I'd love to forget crashing over me. I'll never be able to forget my past, and I shouldn't. As much as I don't want to admit it, my experiences there played a part in who I am today, and I kind of like me :) Like other things in my life, I have to accept that those experiences were not what I'd hoped they would be, and I can't go back and change them. Fortunately, God has now given me a better life and better friends than I could have ever asked for, and I am so, SO thankful for what He has given me.