I'm just going to come out and say it - remodeling the house has been hard. Much harder than I anticipated. So hard that I now feel that raising kids will be a breeze compared to this. I'm sure reality will slap me in the face with how brazenly stupid that comment is some day, but for now I'm going to find comfort in it.

The complete insanity of all we're doing and how much time we have to do it in has taken a toll on me, and let's just say I haven't dealt with it well. As in the last couple of days I feel like I'm one very fine line away from being committed to a psych ward. Yesterday, after a series of disappointments and roadblocks, I completely lost it. Once the tears started flowing I couldn't turn them off, and I've been either crying or on the verge of crying ever since. Maybe it's just the stress. Or maybe it's hormones. Whatever it is, I don't like it. I hate feeling out of control of my emotions, and right now I feel like I'm not just out of control, but that I've spun off into space with nothing to stop me from being propelled straight out of the galaxy.

Don't get me wrong...good things are happening and things are getting done. We're even under budget (yay! and knock on wood). People keep telling me I'm going to be so happy with it when we're done. I know they're right, and I'm trying so hard to find hope and energy in that. So, if you're praying, pray for my perspective to change to a more positive one and for us to find a way to get the work done so we can move in.