The home improvement continues, blah blah blah, you're tired of hearing about it I'm sure. It's T-minus countdown as we are supposed to move in a week. All we really have to get done to move in is get the bathroom tiled and the toilet in. Speaking of bathrooms, people are so paranoid about water. In the bathroom. THE BATHROOM, PEOPLE. Did you know that in Asia they have bathrooms you can completely hose down? With water! Now THAT is living on the edge.

My parents are driving me crazy with the waterproofing this and water barrier that. Geez! If water is SO horrible to have in a house, why do we even have indoor plumbing? I'm so annoyed with all the paranoia that I actually considered, if only for a brief moment, building an outhouse. Because that would solve all of these problems. After question number 582 from my dad about did we do this to waterproof the floor and did the sheet rock guy do that I finally said, "Hey, it didn't have X on it before and it lasted 60 years just fine. I'm not planning on even being alive in 60 years, so I think it will work the way it is."

At this point my life is so deeply entrenched in home improvement that even my fantasies of ending it all and putting myself out of my misery involve things like drilling a screw through my skull. Is this what it means to be an adult? Because if someone had told me that being an adult meant visiting home improvement stores at least once a day I would have lived my younger years a lot more dangerously.