Saturday night Otis and I had a party to try to get rid of the left-over beer and wine from our wedding. It also served as a motivator to get our house put together. That part totally worked. As for the beer and wine, we still have about half of it left. Which is saying a LOT considering people took cabs home or slept on our couch or bummed rides from other, more sober, people.

I must say the party was totally rockin', mostly because we have such cool friends. Every time we get together with them it's a blast. I really wanted to write about some of the funny and/or random things that happened at the party, but apparently sometime during the night I crossed over into the land of Foggy Alcholic Rememberance, making it virtually impossible for me to clearly recall anything that happened. Except for the fact that Jess, Tiffany, and I downed an entire bag of potato chips at the end of the night. In about 5 minutes. I have no idea how it happened. And for some reason there is a grocery list on my refrigerator that tells me to buy a breast pump and some cabbage.

Here's Jess (with Amy):

Here's her double - Laura Linney:

Jess, she would totally play you in the movie of your life.

This is pure genius.

Sticks are Sticks

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For the past 3 days Otis has been teaching a group of Russians from a university in St. Petersburg. To celebrate the last day of class, they offered to take us out to dinner...wherever we wanted to go. We figured, what better place to take a group of non-English speaking Russians than Chuy's, the godfather of TexMex and Texas Martinis.

We had a great time in spite of the language barrier. Fajitas were ordered all around, and Otis and I found ourselves having to explain what a fajita was and how to eat one, which is a lot more challenging than it sounds. Especially when there is no Russian translation for guacamole. They also ordered Texas Martinis. Many, many Texas Martinis. And somehow, whenever I reached down to take a sip, my glass would be mysteriously full again. I asked Victor, the translator, about this strange anomoly, and he said they have a saying in Russia that if there is a pretty girl at the table, the men must get her drunk.

Mission accomplished.

I'm sitting here sipping a Gin & Tonic after a long Christmas Eve day's work, listening to my new KT Tunstall CD, courtesy of Otis via my stocking. My life is good. Better than I could have ever planned, actually.

To all of my friends who have found the happiness they're looking for, I hope you're able to take some time to appreciate it this holiday season. And to all my friends who are still searching, may you find it this coming year. My prayer is for you to experience the same joy God has given me.

I love all of you. Merry Christmas!

Tomorrow Mrs. Juicebox and I are going with soon to be Mrs. LoveTheUphills to Austin's Bridal EXTRAVAGANZA (read in deep, echoing voice). I avoided this event like the plague when I was planning my own wedding because 1) I wouldn't be caught dead at an event that calls itself an "EXTRAVAGANZA", and 2) I knew there was no way I could be in a place with that many psychotic brides-to-be and everyone walk out alive. However, this trip is for a friend, so I'm willing to lay aside a few personal convictions for a while.

I'm actually looking forward to it a little because I've already planned and had my wedding and can now gaze mockingly on all the crazy girls who are frantically trying to figure out what color the napkin ring holders are going to be. This is why I went with mass quantities of disposable napkins. From Sam's. It was for my sanity, and it was worth every disapproving look that was cast my way.

Hopefully the EXTRAVAGANZA should be fun. And if it's not, at least I will have spent the afternoon with some good friends. And maybe taken out a b*tchy bride or two. If I'm lucky.

geriatric libido

Thanks, Mrs. Juicebox

About 2 months ago I had a dream that I was planning a baby shower for one of my dear friends, Amanda. She already has the most adorable and, shall I say, precocious 4 year old ever. Little Eliana was the flower girl at my wedding, and was quite possibly the awesomest flower girl ever in the history of flower girls.

After having this dream I couldn't resist the temptation to give Amanda a call and completely freak her out...and ask if she was, in fact, was pregnant. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey Amanda. I had a dream last night I was planning a baby shower for you.

Amanda: Shut up.

Me: Seriously. Are you pregnant?

Amanda: No...I don't know. I better not be. If I am this is totally your fault.

Me: Um, I think Kevin would be surprised and disappointed to find that out.

After we got off the phone she promptly went out and bought a pregnancy test, which she then promptly called and told me was negative. The thing I didn't find out until yesterday was that she took another test 2 days later and it was positive. Definitely positive. As in she's due in December positive.

This is all a little weird, but mostly completely awesome. I'm so excited for them and can't wait to meet the little one. Congratulations Kevin and Amanda! We love you bunches and are so excited for you! And Ellie is going to make a great big sister :)

Done by my husband.

Chicken Fried Bacon

I borrowed this pic from Yimay's flickr page. She's an amazing photographer. Go there and check out her other stuff.

A friend and coworker of mine gave this talk about a month ago (click on the link then select the mp3 for August 19th 180 service). It's probably one of the most powerful and thought provoking messages I've heard in a long time. I highly recommend listening to it.

My thoughts and prayers go out to him knowing the struggles he's faced since the death of his father 2 months ago, which he discusses in the message. He is now also reeling from the death of his mother this past week. J, my heart breaks for you. I am praying for you.

Update: Since I have been inundated with requests from all of my 1 readers on how I mercifully offed a fish, I will post the details here. If you don't wish to know, then please stop reading

Now.

The most merciful way to kill a cold-blooded creature, according to my husband/reptile expert, is to freeze them. Their body temperature drops and they just go to sleep. They have no idea what has happened to them by the time they're dead. So, Amanda and I took little Lucy and put him in a baggie with enough water for him to breath in. We then put this baggie in the freezer and went about our business for the evening. I know it sounds cruel, and it made me a little sad to have to do it, but it really was the most humane way for him to go. The only part we forgot to do was tell her husband that we were doing this. He was a little surprised when he opened the freezer later that night to chill a few beer mugs and found Lucy lying there motionless. Luckily he didn't seem too attached to the fish and accepted the explanation. If you ever have to do this, just remember to keep all essential parties informed.

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Lately when people ask me what I'm up to these days, I don't have much to offer in response. Last year whenever people would ask I had plenty to respond about either planning the wedding or what it's like to just be married. But now my typical answer consists of something along the lines of "Not much. Just working...and...that's about it." And I'm really ok with this answer, but people seem to get this really sad look on their face like they're thinking, "Poor thing, she must have no life. She needs to have a baby soon." Uh. NO.

Lucky for me I have a much more interesting answer this week. If you ask me what I've been up to this week, I would tell you that I've been baby showering and offing fish. That's right. I'm your fish hitman, er, woman. This weekend I went to Dallas for my friend Amanda's baby shower. The last time Amanda was pregnant she was in Cali and I missed the entire thing. I am so glad I have gotten to see her preggers this time, because her pregnant belly? It is too cute. When I got to her house yesterday afternoon she was telling me her her Beta fish Lucy (a male) hadn't been doing too well for a while and she was thinking of flushing him down the toilet, but she wasn't sure that was the most humane way to put him out of his misery. I took a look at him and the poor little guy could barely swim to the top for air, so I agreed it might be best to help him go peacefully.

I won't go into the details here of how we eventually decided to off him, but rest assured that little Lucy went in the most humane, peaceful way possible for a cold blooded animal. I even double-checked with my resident herpetologist.

Last night we celebrated our friend Tim's 30th birthday with a grand Fiesta. It was a great time filled with things Tim likes. Like Star Trek action figures and cakes with BMW logos on them:

We also partook in 'Timtivities' - the crazy activities Tim always wants to do when he's in town - such as karaoke and Rock Band. If you haven't played Rock Band, it's like Guitar Hero on steroids. And if you haven't played Guitar Hero, shame on you.

I've played the 'synthetic' guitars in Guitar Hero many times, so I decided to give the drums a try. Upon observation it looks pretty simple. But in reality it makes you look like this:

After some of that we played a rousing game of "Pin the Tail on the Donkey", which proved that our motor skills haven't progressed much since age 6,

and then we beat a pinata with a stick, which my husband effectively destroyed in one hit:

You'll notice the pinata car lodged on top of Rachel's gate. Perhaps Otis is a bit, um, large for pinatas anymore. At least in small, confined spaces.

The last few days of rain has washed all of the oak pollen from the rooftops, cars, and any other surface it manages to collect on, leaving yellow ribbons of pollen winding along the ground. I would think it had a strange sort of beauty if I didn't know the evil and misery that lurks in those ribbons for some of my friends. Even for me a certain level of fear creeps in, wondering if I too will develop a sudden allergy to oak pollen. Knowing how I feel in the fall when ragweed comes around, I don't think I could handle it. It's all I can do to get through the 2 months of itchy eyes, itchy throat, and incessant sneezing.

So, for all of my friends out there suffering through, as On The Verge puts it, tree sex season - I feel for you. Hopefully the promiscuity will end soon, because it really is getting out of hand.

A - Attached or single: Very attached
B - Best Friend: Girl-Amanda; Boy-Matt; Dog-Abigail
C - Cake or Pie: Mmmm...pie
D - Day of the Week: Friday, 'cause it's freedom!
E - Essential Item: Chapstick, or as I like to call it, lippy stuff
F - Favorite Color: Green
G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Bears
H - Home town: Katy, TX
I - Indulgences: Anything I buy from Sephora
J - January or July?: July-I love the sun.
K - Kids: Nope.
L - Life is incomplete without: Cheese
M - Marriage Date: July 8, 2006
N - Number of Siblings: 2.5
O - Oranges or Apples: Apples, with cheese
P - Phobias or Fears: fire
T - Tag Three: Mrs. Juicebox, On The Verge, The Kate Effect
U - Unknown fact about me: well, if I told you it wouldn't be unknown
V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: wow, that's a loaded question
W - Worst Habit: I'm very fidgety and don't realize it most of the time.
X - Rays or Ultrasounds: Ultrasounds. They seem less bad for you.
Y - Your favorite food: cheese
Z - Zodiac Sign: Gemini